Top Ten Reasons to Visit Jonathan This Spring

Are you sitting in your dorm/apartment/house bored as hell? Are you desperate to get out of town? Do you want a break from the mundane?

WELL, do I have the solution for YOU!

You should treat yourself to a trip to come visit the one and only Jonathan in Florida; aka Vacation-Land USA. Home to palm trees, balmy weather, and beaches; it’s the perfect escape from the frigid temperatures and stress-inducing school.

Still need some convincing? Here are ten fantastic reasons to come visit me!

10.

Alligator Hunting!

We can drive around the many, MANY lakes, windows down and blasting Taylor Swift (of course), until we see one of these scaly beasts lounging along the banks. It’s a rite of passage for everyone. I promise it’s really fun…!

The Flower and Garden Festival and The Festival of Arts at Epcot

The two best festivals at Epcot happen during the Spring Semester! Choose from flowers and a celebration of Spring with the freshest foods, or see famous artists and Broadway signers while celebrating the many arts of the world. Earth without art is Eh, which is the same as Epcot without a festival! So visit while one is happening!!!

The Ability to Go in the Pool (and Hot Tub)

I know you jealously watch my stories diving into the pool while you sit in the single-digit temperatures shivering! Take some time to relax, soak in the sun, and go for a swim.

Flights are SUUUPER Cheap

Just look, I promise! You will be pleasantly surprised at the sub $100 fares ROUNDTRIP!

See the new Firework Shows

Not one, not two, but THREE new firework shows have magically appeared at the mouse’s domain across the street. Together we could watch them from inside the park, or cheaply from one of my many secret spots. Great views either way!!

Get “Frozen” on Broadway

The touring show will be in Orlando. It is winter, so why not?

(Note: I will not promise my presence alongside you. I cannot stand this show.)

Jonathan Will be 21

Arguably the nation’s most anticipated event, we could celebrate my birthday by getting drunk (legally) on a rooftop bar, walking around a theme park, or playing a drinking game at la casa de Jonathan. Its a win-win-win-win-win-win either way!!!

Universal Orlando Mardi Gras

“The biggest party of the year” happens in NOLA, but also ORLANDO! Universal throws a pretty great Mardi Gras with floats, parades, alcohol, and snacks! It certainly lives up to the hype and I’m definitely not disappointed everytime I step foot into the park, at least until I’m walking out with a million bead necklaces.

Celebrate Disney’s 50th Anniversary

Its the most magical celebration on earth that’ll only happen once! It’s not at all overplayed for commercial value while abandoning nostalgia, the very point of the damn celebration. Not a lot to do, quite a lot to buy. What a great motto!